conel

 Lately, I’ve been loving Conan Gray a lot—his aesthetics, his life, the way he carries himself, and everything he does. It’s all so inspiring to me, so deeply inspiring. I even got an existential crisis because of him over CAT, because I know that even if I succeed, I’ll still fail—since it will be the second time I’ll do a degree that I don’t enjoy anyway.


I love Life of Pi, Irrfan Khan, and his movies, and I mourn the movies I will never watch because he is no longer here to make the ones I would have watched if he were alive. I also love Paul Mescal and his movies, like Aftersun, where it all connects.


The multiverse of madness, for me, is Conan Gray’s new album. There’s a song called Conel. The moment I saw the title, I just knew it would be my Conel—from Normal People. I felt both happy and sad: happy because two people I love loved each other too, and sad because it made me wonder if my interests were so obviously aligned that both of these people, from different continents, were able to come together. Was I that predictable?


Just one last piece of information—my sister, who loved Conan Gray before me, didn’t know that the song Conel is a reference to my Conel from Normal People.


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