A bland yap on dreams
On Dreams
These days I’ve been dreaming. I don’t usually dream, but I dreamt for two days, and now I’ve started wanting to dream because that’s the only time I feel like I’m not in actual reality. When I wake up, it feels like there’s nothing to look forward to, and then sleeping becomes the only thing I wait for. I know it’s extremely bad, but I’m not here to make a moral comment right now. If My life was actually tough, at least then I won’t sound fake. Because when I say it cannot be reality, it sounds as if I’m going through some mind-blowing problem, but these problems are so simple. So human. Everybody has them. There’s nothing extraordinary about my pain at all.
Anyway, that is not the point I’m trying to make. I was trying to talk about my dreams. Two of them specifically.
The first one was about a dog flu happening in my city. I can trace it back to reading about the Nipah virus spreading in Kerala, which I saw in the newspaper. And now that I say newspaper, I realise I’m not even reading the newspaper these days which just shows how disordered my life is right now. Anyway, I digress. Back to the point.
Even in the dream, I was trying to figure out how this is not making sense. It was irrational. And I’m extremely rational in real life, so I was confused if I was dreaming or not. Because even inside the dream, I noticed that same pattern, that it didn’t make sense.
In the second dream, I was kidnapped. But my only worry was that someone should let my mother know I’m okay, because I know she will panic a lot if she doesn’t hear from me. That reflects how I usually am. I wonder if that’s exactly how I would behave if I actually got kidnapped. My own kidnapping is not the big deal to me, but everybody else being sad about it especially my mother is. One funny thing I can connect this to is how once I lost my way back home when I went to college for the first time. But even then, my worry wasn’t that I was lost. I was only scared that I was going to get scolded by my father.